Why giving this up didn't DO IT for me

Whoa!  It's been a really long time since I've actively posted on here-- I'm thinking about a year!  I've been writing, jotting down notes, and thinking about the blog... I really let it get away from me in 2018 but my plan is to be BAAAAAACK! :) Since then, hubby got a new job, we did a complete kitchen remodel (all in cash!  hence why I am all about saving tips and tricks) I took on another coaching job, and we got a puppy!  So this household has been ever crazy and never stopping!

Anyway- upcoming posts- money saving tips/tricks (we are now debt free minus the mortgage!), some DIYs we learned through the kitchen remodel, some more reviews and top lists, and finally-- how our dog has truly changed our marriage.

A couple weeks ago my mother and I were talking about lent.  For those of you that don't know my backstory- I was raised as I say "half Catholic and half Methodist".  What I mean by that is that I attended both mass, church, and sunday school EVERY single weekend of my life from birth until 18 and when I visited home during college.  I could go on.... that's a whole post in itself.. but long story short- in my faith walk now I tend to mix both upbringings. So though my husband and I are practicing Methodists, I still abide by no meat Fridays and choose to give something up for lent.  (it's a Catholic thing)


Now onto my point.  I had thoughts about giving up "sweets" or "chocolate" or fried food.. but I TRY (most of the time) to stick to my food plan already.  And when you say that- what's a sweet?  Just dessert?  a donut?  does trail mix count?  There's just a lot of gray area!  And is chocolate even the little chips of dark chocolate that are in my Chobani flip yogurt?! I'm not saying anything is wrong with giving up these kind of things- but I know myself.. if there's a gray area, I'll find it and "embrace" it.  Aka- if I give up "candy"... you'll just see me eating ice cream instead!

So between gray area and then thinking about the purpose of giving something up for lent.. I altered my idea.  I reflected and came to the conclusion that things like candy, chocolate, fried food, etc don't really stray me from the cross or walking with Christ.  But I realized what sometimes does lead me astray and where I acknowledge I am far from perfect- materialism.  I have an entire bedroom as my "closet".  Granted I have items in there from JUNIOR HIGH- aka things that are over 12 years old (I'm a saver, that's a whole other post in itself)  but I do have a of things- clothes, bags, shoes, etc.  So I decided for each day of lent- I would be giving up an item (40 things).  For the first couple weeks, I picked something out each day.  It started to get kind of hard last week. But this week I have been on spring break- so I tried EVERYTHING on-  all hanging clothes- pants, skirts, dresses, ets. and I'm already over 50 items!  For those of you that know, we still have a whole MONTH left of lent.  I hope to still find one item every day until Easter, but I do know I have surpassed my goal of 40 and it feels great!!

Sometimes I get to fixed on "the new bag", the new pair of Jordans, or having "nothing to wear".  I also get sucked into sales and clearance!  But I tend to get new things and forget to clean out.  So I challenge you- whether this lent (why not start now?!) or next lent to give something up that keeps you from being Christ-like, rather than something that has a lot of gray area or that might help trim your waistline a bit.

leave the "eh" behind

hugs, abi

The Baby Steps to our Better Future

"Live like no one else now so later you can live like no one else." -Dave Ramsey

This is one of my favorite quotes when it comes to money!  It is so so accurate.   

Money.. many find it extremely hard to talk about it. But if it's an issue at all in your relationship or family then you need to talk about it that much more!!

I do need to preface this post with our money background.  David and I were both extremely blessed by being raised by money conscious, money smart, frugal, and caring parents.  Caring?  Well yeah, as in they were tight.. but we always had a roof over our heads, we always had clothes that fit, and we never went without a NEED.  Now don't get me wrong.. we went WITHOUT.  Trust me. 

I can remember many days, especially Saturdays after 4:30 mass begging mom and dad to go out to dinner- and the answer always being no.  And when I was younger it ended with me in tears.. I just didn't understand.  It wasn't fair!  I have many memories of my parents saying "No".  Whether it was the electric barbie car that we begged for, the new clothes we'd whine for, or the Europe trip that got cancelled due to my dad's being laid off-- we went without.  My parents are a great example of Dave Ramsey's quote.  And I can see that now (my nephew, got an electric SUV for Christmas... talk about not fair! :) ) 

Things didn't change in our household as I went up through school- they got even tougher on me when it came to money.  I was blessed enough to get a truck to drive passed from my uncle to my grandparents and then to me.. but the kicker was- I paid for gas, insurance, and anything else car related.  I also started paying for my cellphone bill in high school. And if I went over my minutes (can you believe that, minutes!) in junior high then I had to pay up to my parents.  I paid for homecoming and prom dresses, movies with friends, graduation announcements and senior pictures.  Talk about learning how to budget and pinch pennies early.  It wasn't all fun then but I am now so thankful for my parents "training" me for the real world.  

Now I know we can't help how our parents "money raise" us so let me get off my tangent.  So when Dave and I got married- we were one, and our finances became one.  We received a "wedding gift" the fall of our first year of marriage from my parents. It was to attend financial peace university at a neighborhood church.  "Gee, thanks guys!  You really shouldn't have".  But we're so glad they did!

https://www.daveramsey.com/blog/tired-of-keeping-up-with-the-joneses

So we attended the class- boy do I have stories about some that were in the class with us.  But again.. that's another rabbit hole.  Dave Ramsey's class can start you from scratch (like many in our class) or can guide those like David and I who have finances a solid financial background.  First, I'd recommend checking out his website or checking out the class. It is God based.. so there is a lesson on tithing.. but whether that's for you or not- the rest is applicable to all! If not, check out his 7 baby steps at least. 

• Baby Step 1 – $1,000 to start an Emergency Fund
• Baby Step 2 – Pay off all debt using the Debt Snowball
• Baby Step 3 – 3 to 6 months of expenses in savings
• Baby Step 4 – Invest 15% of household income into Roth IRAs and pre-tax retirement
• Baby Step 5 – College funding for children
• Baby Step 6 – Pay off home early
• Baby Step 7 – Build wealth and give!

We all think no way will we have an emergency-- think again!  And especially if you're a homeowner.. it's always one crisis after another.  If you've already got that $1.000 untouchable emergency fund-- YAY!

Step 2- IS HUGE!!! And we will be completing our debt snowball this DECEMBER and we couldn't be more excited!! If anything check out his info on debt snowball!  When we first got married we had- 2 federal loans, a loan to david's dad, a loan to my dad, (yes we did those to ourselves.. because we chose expensive Otterbein, but without it, we wouldn't have met) his car payment, a hot tub payment, and soon after a house payment. That may seem small or big depending on who you are. Thankfully we were blessed to not have any credit card debt ever.  

We are not perfect "Dave Ramsey examples". He advocates for cash envelopes.  We tried it it a couple years ago right after completing the class but carrying cash was not realistic for us and we love that we get our 5, 3, and 1 % cash back on our Mastercard.  He also advocates for only purchasing things you can actually BUY. We couldn't really buy either of our cars outright.. but we did get the shortest loan time and we overpay every single month.  And mine was paid off in less than a year.  

We just refinanced our 4 bedroom house last week after being in it less than 3 years  to move to a better interest rate and to switch to a 15 year loan.  Our goal is when we move again one day, we want to have it paid off!  (talk about a large chunk for our next down payment) P.S. --> go for it, buy the house instead of rent!  It's just a better financial choice. 

So how did we do it..? Just after 3 years will we be "debt free" (minus our mortgage) and we're darn proud of it being only 25 and 26 years old.  And this year, I landed a position in my dream district so I went from full time to part time teaching... so things got even more serious when it came to budgeting. 

• We have a budget meeting every month.  We sit down, talk about the last month, calendar and identify where the bulk of our money will be going in the upcoming month.  We PINCH!  We use coupons all the time.  We use gift cards with coupons. We split meals when we go out (helps wallet and waist size!)  If I'm drinking a peppermint hot chocolate- I'd bet you our savings account that it was paid for with a gift card.  
• We go where the DEALS are.  If we ever see a movie- it's on $5 night.  If we go out, we aim for happy hour.  We now only go to our secret Mexican place with $8.99 margarita pitchers instead of the big chains, we take the surveys on the bottom of receipts to earn free things or discounts on our next visit
• We have a white board on the fridge that gets updated daily (if not, we do it on Sunday nights when my alarm goes off at 8pm)  Check out our white board- these are the things that waiver.  Our electric bill, phone bill, water bill, and mortgage payments are pretty static so they're not on the white board. 
  
• We have INDIVIDUAL money and can't say anything about the others' money.  I just bought a new pair of shoes. (I have a shoe problem)  But David can't say anything about it if I'm within my $100.  If he goes golfing.. it comes out of his money.  If I get my nails done.. it comes out of my money for the month.  There is no "gray" area in our budget.  It used to be $50 a month until recently and let me tell you, that was hard! If I want to save up for something big then I can do that by accumulating money from various months. 
• We meal calendar weekly to know exactly what we're going to eat throughout the week.  This means we don't just aimlessly grocery shop and we can download coupons for things we are buying.  
• We are on a zero based budget (check out the website for more specifics) but this is a life saver!  David made it on excel and we keep it on the fridge so it's easy to update as we spend. 

As many are still in the mood for making 2018 better- I challenge you to learn, dig deeper, have the conversations with your loved ones, and get started.  It's amazing how big your smile is when you get the notification that something is PAID OFF or that you have 5 figures in your savings account!

Check out my next post for our top EASY ways to save money and stop overspending!

Check out the class that led us to success:

Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and you can take it online as well and have access to materials throughout your financial journey! And I'd be happy to advise you in any way I can! 

leave the "eh", the debt, the stress, and the fights behind and find peace in your finances!

hugs, abi 

Stop Love Shaming Me

Love shaming. Please, let's just quit cold turkey.

Yes, think body shaming or slut shaming but instead people are getting bashed for loving someone. WHAT?! It sounds absolutely ridiculous.  You would think people would just love the world around them including those in love.  Oh... so not the case! And it's heart breaking, annoying, and sad.


I've experienced it first hand and I've heard people doing it about others. I just don't get it.  Why would we ever want someone to feel horrible about the adventure that they're on?  Who are we to judge?  And why are we so fast to do so?

What I'm talking about is not when a friend has true concerns about the health of a relationship and expresses them with a sincere heart.  I'm talking about the snide comments, the looks, the talking behind their "friends" backs, or the mockery that happens around "quick" relationships.  It may just be my age group that does it, I 'm not sure.  But I think it's "easy" for my age group to do it because everyone is in a different walk of life.  Whether single and working it, single and mingling, dating, engaged, married, expecting, a house full of family.. in the 20s and early 30s you can easily find it all!


Being single, a life of mingling, or being married- there is no right or wrong answer for love.

The thing that gets me about those that love shame should look inward.  And that more often than not it's not just comments.  It's actions, looks, words, and then the assuming of what the "couple" would want to do or be interested in.

If someone told me a couple years ago that my "friends" would love shame me, go along for the ride, and eventually throw my husband and I out of the picture I wouldn't have believed them.  Love shaming starts with comments like "she's a train wreck", " they moved fast", "aren't they a little young", or "didn't she just have a break up?"  Love shaming doesn't just happen to those in relationships.  People get bashed all the time for "getting back out there too quickly", "not knowing what they want", or "not letting the past go".

I was dating someone when I met David.  And before we knew it, I had made decisions and he and I started dating.  One year later, we were engaged.  And boy did we get some looks and even "friends" made comments.  We weren't stupid and we're still not.  But you know what- we FELL, we literally fell in love.  You can't decide when you fall in love, it just happens. Even still, I feel that there are people out there who look at "young relationships" just waiting for them to "crash and burn".  Not just young marriages, but engagements or even after just a first or second date.

Why are people so spiteful and have so much hate in their heart?  Why are they sending negatively to those of us that are just creating more "love" in the world and are in genuine happiness?  What's so bad about being madly in love?  Nothing.

So to all of you in love- young, old, fresh, or forever- keep on lovin'!  To those of you out there and putting your heart on the line- keep following your heart and don't ever let anyone make you feel unworthy of love or ready for that belly turning, heart thumping, ADVENTURE!

leave the "eh" behind

hugs, abi

Christmas kinda sucks

Maybe I jinxed it.. maybe my subconscious was onto something.. but I wrote this before my grandma even went into the hospital.  She was admitted on Monday midnight and we lost her on Saturday morning on the 23rd.  I don't think any of my thoughts have changed, I didn't edit this at all since it's initial draft (not even thinking grandma could be gone before Christmas) But now more than anything, these words are so true  (and I have some stories from this Christmas of grieving)
I miss you grandma and love you.



You heard me.  Christmas kinda sucks. For me, some of my friends, family, and millions around the world.

Now the Christian, carol belting, fuzzy sock wearing girl in me cringes when I say that- so let me clarify.

It's not that Christmas and all that it is stands for sucks.  The birth of sweet baby Jesus could never, ever suck.  I don't even like having those words in the same sentence.  Even for ChrisEaster believers it brings joy, goodness, giving, and family.  The holiday season itself tends to put people in a good mood.  Whether it's Michael Buble Christmas on Pandora, checking out your Zoo lights, or a night to wear an ugly sweater- the season gives us many feel good moments.

But what many forget whether we're in the hustle and bustle, whether we're just not in the "club" or just pure ignorance is that it's not all carols and bells for everyone all the time.  Because this club, is not necessarily one you want to be in.

It's the cringe when you see a certain ornament, not want to make a certain dish, cry during Christmas Eve worship, the melancholy wake up on Christmas morning club.  And I wish I could give back my membership.

Holidays- they remind us of what we have and what and who we've lost.  I hate on Thanksgiving when someone prays because they shouldn't be.  My grandpa should be saying that prayer and only him.  It's just not fair how much our heart can ache at such a "happy time of year!".

This will be my third Christmas without my grandpa.  And I dread it every year.  This crap doesn't get easier, whoever tells you that- lied!  We just get better (maybe) at covering up our hurt, or we can put off the tears an hour or two longer.  Christmas was my grandpa's favorite.  Mine too.  No matter the day (it could be april 12th) he would know exactly how long until Christmas day (and he'd remind us all the time!). We'd fit 20 around their dinner table after opening gift after gift and before cuddling up in the family room.

So many of our Christmas traditions revolved around him and my grandma.  And no one likes making new traditions.  I now dread every Christmas eve service a bit.  I can imagine him at the pulpit, I can hear him singing the Christmas carols, and I yearn to have him one more Christmas day.

We then go on and celebrate a new year.  No one thinks about it, but many grieving, especially those beginning the grieving process don't want the new year. That means they're going on without them, leaving them behind.  I so badly didn't want 2016 to arrive.

With this, I ask that you show kindness, patience, and a possess an open heart.  We need to give people time and space.  We all heal differently, but I'm not sure we can all truly find healing for the hurt of the holidays.  Let's not judge someone's tear, let's not be nosy for our own gain, let's give people a minute away from the hustle and bustle, and let's hold our loved ones tight.

leave the eh behind, 

And may the joy and peace of Christ be with you and your family throughout the Christmas season

(most of all- don't be afraid to cry, I know I will) 

abi 

Halloween Wreath

It's about that time- the tricks and the treats are almost here.  The temps are dropping, the candy corn is in bowls, and the costumes are appearing.  So that means it's time to get your door ready for the holiday. 

Check out this easy DIY!  And this one won't break the bank.

Materials needed:

 You'll need a styrofoam wreath form, ribbon, flowers, and any other halloween decoration you can find. My happy halloween text was $2, is felt, and worked great! 

You'll start by hot gluing your ribbon onto your foam form and wrap it around the entire form.  I always get two spools of ribbon to be safe.

Just start playing around with flowers and any other add ons you have.  I always buy flower bundles for the better price and don't forget about the dollar store! Hot glue is the way to go for the ribbon wreaths.  Once things are glued down don't forget to add your accent bow on top! 

And just like that you have an adorable halloween wreath for your door!  

Is a "thank you" too much to ask for?!

Whether it be from your child, coworker, spouse, or friend- don't you just want to hear the words "thank you" every once in a while?  This idea came to me after a longggg Tuesday and during my reading of '5 Love Languages'.

We might not all feel emotional fulfillment from words of affirmation.  But I'd dare to say all of us do enjoy feeling appreciated.  It feels good on the outside- maybe you walk a bit taller.  And it feels good on the inside, maybe you get butterflies or just have a happy heart moment.

On average 1 in 3 adults do not get the minimum recommended amount of sleep.  Why?  Part of it is because people are overworked, over booked, and have jam packed calendars.  I can't preach about that.. I have 4 part time jobs myself.  (my own fault, I know) But with most of us working so hard, wouldn't it be nice to at least feel good inside and appreciated.   Don't you think it might make us feel more fulfilled in those areas of our lives?

I've been trying to be purposeful about the thank you's I've been sending Dave's way recently.  He is the lawn mower in the house.  No doubt about it!  But when he mowed the lawn this week I asked myself, "how many times have I thanked him after mowing the lawn?"

I wasn't really sure.  So that meant I can definitely improve in this area.  Even if Dave's love language isn't words of affirmation.. acknowledgment and appreciation can only help.

Don't you get a little spark when someone says "thank you", "you're the bomb", or something along those lines?  So that's my challenge to you.  Even if it's not your spouses love language, you have no idea what I mean by love language, or you're thinking about the workplace, gym, or home- I challenge you to try and say "thank you" at least 5 times a day. (yes, think and then intentionally say it!)

Is that so hard?  No!  So why do we let things slide by?  I don't think the majority of us feel a stranger must hold the door for us, a child give us a compliment, or a friend do the dishes after dinner.  I completely understand routine.  But come on people, that cannot be our excuse!

So hold yourself accountable- make someone's day, speak their love language, or just acknowledge someone's kindness and watch your world and the other person's world brighten!

leave the eh behind

and gosh darn it say thank you

hugs,

abi

Crockpot Zucchini Lasagna

Crockpot Zucchini Lasagna

Ingredients 

15 oz part-skim ricotta

1 large egg

1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

1 cup spinach, chopped

Salt and pepper

4 cups homemade tomato sauce or your favorite sauce

4 medium zucchini, sliced 1/8″ thick. (I grilled them first to draw out some moisture)

16 oz part-skim mozzarella cheese, shredded

2 tbsp parsley, chopped

Instructions 

Slice 4 medium sized zucchini and grill them on both sides. 

In a medium bowl mix ricotta cheese, egg, Parmesan cheese, spinach. Stir well and set it aside.

Lightly coat the inside of the slow cooker with cooking spray. (I used a crockpot liner instead- no cleanup :) ) 

Ladle about 1 cup of homemade tomato sauce on the bottom of the slow cooker and spread it well.

Layer 5 or 6 zucchini slices to cover.

Place some of the ricotta cheese mixture and top with the mozzarella cheese.

Repeat the layers until all your ingredients are all used up.

Top the lasagna with mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.

Cover and cook on high for 3-1/2 to 4 hours.

Turn off the slow cooker and let stand for about 1 hours. (It might be a bit soupy if you don’t let it stand)

Before serving top with fresh parsley

And there it is!  And it is delicious! 

Yield: 8, Serving Size: 8

Amount Per Serving:  Calories: 251 Total Fat: 13.9g Cholesterol: 59.7mg Sodium: 519.2mg Carbohydrates: 11.9g Sugar: 4.9g Protein: 20.8g