The letter that changed my marriage

When David and I were engaged we decided we wanted to make a "first fight box".  What a cute idea right?!? The concept was to have a cute box under the coffee table, bed, wherever, with a bottle of wine and 2 letters.  Well the cute box didn't quite happen. (life... whoops.) That nor our wedding scrapbook has been completed. 

But there are 2 handwritten letters in sealed envelopes on my memo board.  They were written the week before the wedding and they haven't been opened yet.

I partially attribute these letters with our successful and smooth marriage thus far.  Yes, we have tiffs and disagreements. (duh, we all do)  Or we get upset because we forget the other person can't read our mind all the time. (aka normally a minor communication error)  But when these things happen.. it's amazing because I start to think about those envelopes.  We don't avoid them because we want to "have not opened our first fight letters". (big pat on the back, nahhh)  But I think about the letters and then I realize.. what we're arguing over is not that big of a deal.  In the end.. those little tiffs, just don't matter.


Yes, there are some things we have to work through.  But when I think about the letters.. I realize I don't need a piece of paper to remind me he loves me, and that it'll be okay.  I know that it will.  When we stood up there in front of God, our family, and our friends- I know we made a lifetime commitment to each other.

So whether you're engaged, going to be soon, or happily married... I encourage you to write letters for a "first fight" or "fight" box.  I think having it causes us to rethink the situation.  I've never thought.. "Man I need to open that letter"... "I need reassurance that we are going to make it through this".
I know some situations are more serious than others but I think the average couple just needs to pause, take a deep breath, close our mouths, and look at the big picture.

The big picture that- the person there loves you. They love you more today than they did yesterday, they are still there with you and want to work things out with you, and you're with them for a reason, right?! The big picture-- that the dinner you're arguing over, weekend plans, or miscommunication is not the end of the world, nor a mountain in your marriage.

leave the "eh" behind

hugs,

abi