Before the Most Important Walk

Are you, your child, grandchild, or loved one about to walk down the aisle?  If so, these are the things that David and I have come up with that we will make our children do and encourage grandchildren and others to do as well when they thinking they're about ready to say "I do".

1. The couple must travel together.
You don't have to sleep in the same bed or same room.. but traveling together is a must.  And not a stay-cation.. like GO AWAY! It's amazing what you'll learn about each other when you travel- weird things the other does in routine, are they an absolute planner or can they go with the breeze.  Does something drive you absolutely bonkers about them now that you're together all the time one on one?  Can you handle the silence that being together for so long might provide?  How do you handle a bump in the road... whether the museum is closed, the weather is horrible, you missed the train or flight, or someone's under the weather..
And if things get "heated", how do you bounce back? (hoping someone doesn't fly home solo!)
Trust me, Dave and I went to New York after about 9 months of dating and we learned a lot about each other.  First of all- 98 degree heat, walking on my feet all day, and waiting for the wrong train- makes for a crabby Abi.

2. Talk about MONEY
Yes, money.  It's one of the hardest topics but it's said that over 40% of marriages experience extreme stress due to money. Not only that but money fights predict divorce rates.  So what can you do about that?  Talk about money early on... whether you're 6 months into dating or got engaged yesterday.  The "earlier" the better.  Try living on a budget together.  I understand you may live apart.. but try it!  (if so, take out your individual bills -electric, gas, rent, etc.- first and then go from there) It's hard to talk about so you have to "practice" in a sense to get good at it.  (In just a couple weeks I'll be diving into our budget if you want some ideas)

3. Talk with your mom
Sit down, whether planned or it naturally happens and just sit, listen, and talk with your mom or someone in a motherly role.  Sometimes it's hard for us to admit it but moms are pretty good at being right.  I'll never forget the day my mom told me that dave just "fits in so easily with our family".  (She told me a year later, that it was that weekend that she knew he was the one for me)  Just listen to her- no one in the world loves you more and if she has concerns (trust me, I know they're unbearable to hear) but you really should take them to heart.

4. Talk with your significant other about GOALS

What? Goals?  Yes, every marriage needs goals.  Where do you see yourself in 6 months, 10 years, 20 years?  As a couple- financially, employment, family, experiences?  Travel the US? Commit to service?  Or be workaholics, see success and think about family later? None of these are bad or wrong.. but you need to go into a marriage with realistic goals and a supportive significant other.  I understand people grow and change.. but without this conversation you won't have a firm foundation.

5. And lastly, build furniture
Are you serious Abi?  YES!  Go to IKEA, Big Lots, wherever and buy furniture that you have to assemble.  (Dave and I already decided we're going to lock our children and their sign. other in a room with the furniture and they can't come out until it's done)  The directions are most of time a bunch of crap, the tools they give you are inadequate so it causes you to use your best judgement, be resourceful, and stay cool, calm, and collected (which is sometimes very hard to do in those situations)  If you get it built and there's not too many tears- I'd call it a success!

Is your marriage or engagement fool proof?  Nah, but I will tell you.. doing these 5 things when "I do" is starting to sound good will help you decide if they are right and if the time is right!  

leave the "eh" behind

hugs,

abi