Christmas kinda sucks

Maybe I jinxed it.. maybe my subconscious was onto something.. but I wrote this before my grandma even went into the hospital.  She was admitted on Monday midnight and we lost her on Saturday morning on the 23rd.  I don't think any of my thoughts have changed, I didn't edit this at all since it's initial draft (not even thinking grandma could be gone before Christmas) But now more than anything, these words are so true  (and I have some stories from this Christmas of grieving)
I miss you grandma and love you.



You heard me.  Christmas kinda sucks. For me, some of my friends, family, and millions around the world.

Now the Christian, carol belting, fuzzy sock wearing girl in me cringes when I say that- so let me clarify.

It's not that Christmas and all that it is stands for sucks.  The birth of sweet baby Jesus could never, ever suck.  I don't even like having those words in the same sentence.  Even for ChrisEaster believers it brings joy, goodness, giving, and family.  The holiday season itself tends to put people in a good mood.  Whether it's Michael Buble Christmas on Pandora, checking out your Zoo lights, or a night to wear an ugly sweater- the season gives us many feel good moments.

But what many forget whether we're in the hustle and bustle, whether we're just not in the "club" or just pure ignorance is that it's not all carols and bells for everyone all the time.  Because this club, is not necessarily one you want to be in.

It's the cringe when you see a certain ornament, not want to make a certain dish, cry during Christmas Eve worship, the melancholy wake up on Christmas morning club.  And I wish I could give back my membership.

Holidays- they remind us of what we have and what and who we've lost.  I hate on Thanksgiving when someone prays because they shouldn't be.  My grandpa should be saying that prayer and only him.  It's just not fair how much our heart can ache at such a "happy time of year!".

This will be my third Christmas without my grandpa.  And I dread it every year.  This crap doesn't get easier, whoever tells you that- lied!  We just get better (maybe) at covering up our hurt, or we can put off the tears an hour or two longer.  Christmas was my grandpa's favorite.  Mine too.  No matter the day (it could be april 12th) he would know exactly how long until Christmas day (and he'd remind us all the time!). We'd fit 20 around their dinner table after opening gift after gift and before cuddling up in the family room.

So many of our Christmas traditions revolved around him and my grandma.  And no one likes making new traditions.  I now dread every Christmas eve service a bit.  I can imagine him at the pulpit, I can hear him singing the Christmas carols, and I yearn to have him one more Christmas day.

We then go on and celebrate a new year.  No one thinks about it, but many grieving, especially those beginning the grieving process don't want the new year. That means they're going on without them, leaving them behind.  I so badly didn't want 2016 to arrive.

With this, I ask that you show kindness, patience, and a possess an open heart.  We need to give people time and space.  We all heal differently, but I'm not sure we can all truly find healing for the hurt of the holidays.  Let's not judge someone's tear, let's not be nosy for our own gain, let's give people a minute away from the hustle and bustle, and let's hold our loved ones tight.

leave the eh behind, 

And may the joy and peace of Christ be with you and your family throughout the Christmas season

(most of all- don't be afraid to cry, I know I will) 

abi 

Halloween Wreath

It's about that time- the tricks and the treats are almost here.  The temps are dropping, the candy corn is in bowls, and the costumes are appearing.  So that means it's time to get your door ready for the holiday. 

Check out this easy DIY!  And this one won't break the bank.

Materials needed:

 You'll need a styrofoam wreath form, ribbon, flowers, and any other halloween decoration you can find. My happy halloween text was $2, is felt, and worked great! 

You'll start by hot gluing your ribbon onto your foam form and wrap it around the entire form.  I always get two spools of ribbon to be safe.

Just start playing around with flowers and any other add ons you have.  I always buy flower bundles for the better price and don't forget about the dollar store! Hot glue is the way to go for the ribbon wreaths.  Once things are glued down don't forget to add your accent bow on top! 

And just like that you have an adorable halloween wreath for your door!  

Is a "thank you" too much to ask for?!

Whether it be from your child, coworker, spouse, or friend- don't you just want to hear the words "thank you" every once in a while?  This idea came to me after a longggg Tuesday and during my reading of '5 Love Languages'.

We might not all feel emotional fulfillment from words of affirmation.  But I'd dare to say all of us do enjoy feeling appreciated.  It feels good on the outside- maybe you walk a bit taller.  And it feels good on the inside, maybe you get butterflies or just have a happy heart moment.

On average 1 in 3 adults do not get the minimum recommended amount of sleep.  Why?  Part of it is because people are overworked, over booked, and have jam packed calendars.  I can't preach about that.. I have 4 part time jobs myself.  (my own fault, I know) But with most of us working so hard, wouldn't it be nice to at least feel good inside and appreciated.   Don't you think it might make us feel more fulfilled in those areas of our lives?

I've been trying to be purposeful about the thank you's I've been sending Dave's way recently.  He is the lawn mower in the house.  No doubt about it!  But when he mowed the lawn this week I asked myself, "how many times have I thanked him after mowing the lawn?"

I wasn't really sure.  So that meant I can definitely improve in this area.  Even if Dave's love language isn't words of affirmation.. acknowledgment and appreciation can only help.

Don't you get a little spark when someone says "thank you", "you're the bomb", or something along those lines?  So that's my challenge to you.  Even if it's not your spouses love language, you have no idea what I mean by love language, or you're thinking about the workplace, gym, or home- I challenge you to try and say "thank you" at least 5 times a day. (yes, think and then intentionally say it!)

Is that so hard?  No!  So why do we let things slide by?  I don't think the majority of us feel a stranger must hold the door for us, a child give us a compliment, or a friend do the dishes after dinner.  I completely understand routine.  But come on people, that cannot be our excuse!

So hold yourself accountable- make someone's day, speak their love language, or just acknowledge someone's kindness and watch your world and the other person's world brighten!

leave the eh behind

and gosh darn it say thank you

hugs,

abi

Crockpot Zucchini Lasagna

Crockpot Zucchini Lasagna

Ingredients 

15 oz part-skim ricotta

1 large egg

1/4 cup freshly grated Parmesan cheese

1 cup spinach, chopped

Salt and pepper

4 cups homemade tomato sauce or your favorite sauce

4 medium zucchini, sliced 1/8″ thick. (I grilled them first to draw out some moisture)

16 oz part-skim mozzarella cheese, shredded

2 tbsp parsley, chopped

Instructions 

Slice 4 medium sized zucchini and grill them on both sides. 

In a medium bowl mix ricotta cheese, egg, Parmesan cheese, spinach. Stir well and set it aside.

Lightly coat the inside of the slow cooker with cooking spray. (I used a crockpot liner instead- no cleanup :) ) 

Ladle about 1 cup of homemade tomato sauce on the bottom of the slow cooker and spread it well.

Layer 5 or 6 zucchini slices to cover.

Place some of the ricotta cheese mixture and top with the mozzarella cheese.

Repeat the layers until all your ingredients are all used up.

Top the lasagna with mozzarella and Parmesan cheese.

Cover and cook on high for 3-1/2 to 4 hours.

Turn off the slow cooker and let stand for about 1 hours. (It might be a bit soupy if you don’t let it stand)

Before serving top with fresh parsley

And there it is!  And it is delicious! 

Yield: 8, Serving Size: 8

Amount Per Serving:  Calories: 251 Total Fat: 13.9g Cholesterol: 59.7mg Sodium: 519.2mg Carbohydrates: 11.9g Sugar: 4.9g Protein: 20.8g

I never thought we'd go 2 years without it

In some ways the last two years have flown by and in other areas, not so much.  Well it's been 2 years since the last time we took the time and did it- and this time it was marriage shaking!

That's right!  We haven't watched the dvd of our wedding ceremony in over 2 years  We sat down a couple weeks ago, cuddled up on the couch, and watched it on our third anniversary.

Initially, I thought we'd watch it every six months.  I mean I love, love.  And I love our love the most.  But jokes on me and my "cutesy" goals.  Life happens and we only took the time to watch it once before, on our first anniversary.

I wouldn't change a thing about watching it though because that night, our anniversary of THIS year, I will never forget as long as I live.  It's amazing how things intertwine in our lives.  I just started reading the book "The 5 Love Languages" and the chapter I just finished completely hit on where we are in our marriage.  (I'll talk about it more in a later blog post- awesome book!) - but essentially David and I and billions of happy couples are no longer in the obsessive compulsive stage of falling in love.  We are in a different, but very fulfilling stage.

So what did watching our wedding video due that was so earth shattering?  Well first, it was so neat to see all our loved ones three years younger.  We saw our college friends and their little antics in the back and we got to relive the laughs and tears that took place during the ceremony.

So what?  Through the tears of the moment, I grinned from ear to ear as we saw the doors open and my dad and I came down the aisle.

I can't explain everything I felt inside but as we were cuddled up on the couch I could physically feel Dave's heart beat-it went faster and faster as the doors opened and I got closer to him at the altar.

To me, it's just what I needed.  He didn't have to say a single word.  I simply felt his body's natural response to a monumental moment in our lives,  I became overwhelmed with the sense that he loves the crap out of me- today and everyday.

No he didn't say that; I'm just assuming.  But his anniversary card did say something pretty close!  But it's not the cute card with Charlie Brown that I'll remember- but the feeling of his heart and the pure joy I sensed inside.

So are we going to watch it every year?  Do I recommend you watch yours often?  Nah, I'd say wait.  It'll probably be well worth it!

leave the eh behind

hugs,

abi

The Big 3 I've Learned in our First 3

Our third anniversary is just around the corner and man we've learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and US.

1. TEAM

Cliche, I know.  But we learned very quickly that we are a team.  Not just on the sand court, but every moment of every single day.  And yes, sometimes it's easier said than done.  A relationship works with two active, supportive people.  One doing all the work, making all the decisions, or carrying the load will not last.  And if it does I believe it comes with resentment and exhaustion.  

So what does being a team mean?  It's easy to say we are.  Being a team means working side by side in more ways than one.
 Husbands and wives are to plan together- have a similar big picture.  A happy and lasting marriage relies on a solid foundation of friendship and team.  Of course, there are situations you might accept you're not the best team.  (whether that be because you're both competitive and can't handle loosing a game)  Dave and I stink at doing yard work together!  We'll both go outside but we won't work on the same exact project.  The time or two we tried it.. the "left foot wasn't talking to the right" and the excitement of outdoor work and heat plus getting frustrated killed our moods real quick and it was not a fun situation.  We're great at working towards a goal together but not necessarily on the same task. 

And don't forget to fight as a team!  If you get in an argument, step back and remember what you're arguing about.  Should it be a me vs. you or should it an us vs. the problem.  Be allies!  

2. Communicate.  Don't ASSUME!

We all know what happens when you assume.. and that's ten times more true when you're married.  Yes, Dave and I can finish each others' sentences and we say we have ESP- sometimes we're that good!  BUT that does not mean he can just read my mind!

We had a perfect example a couple months ago.  We were at an event for Dave.  My friend and I went to the event.  Dave then went on that evening and I felt blown off.  Was I over reacting?  eh.. maybe!  But the thing was, I was frustrated and hurt because in my mind I saw all of us getting dinner and such after.  But did I tell him that idea? NO!  When he got home and I told him this- he felt horrible that I was hurt and felt left out but he was right- he cannot read my mind.  

And it's not fair for us to think our spouse can whether you're wrapping up your first year of marriage or your 60th year.  So communicate- early, often, and listen!  

3. Have FUN! 

Once you've been a married a bit- it is so EASY to get in a routine.  Don't get me wrong routines are great!  But we need to remember all the t-shirt sayings...  

-You only live once

-You only get this day, today

-We don't remember days, we remember moments
-Tomorrow is never guaranteed

So what?  Well if you have a moment where you're feeling "stuck", lame, or just a bit down- have some fun!  Break your routine if even for just 30 minutes.

If you're the calendaring type- then put a date night or two on there!  If you're not- when you feel this way- go, do it, have some fun! Fun doesn't have to take the whole day or break the bank- just mix it up, or crank the music and cook dinner, go get frozen yogurt, hit up your neighborhood pool, the options are endless to break up routine! 

Now that three years are in the book, it'll be interesting to see how our life turns and twists and asks for more of us!  Just remember fight together, don't ASSume, and have fun! 

leave the eh behind

hugs,

abi 

Every Inch Matters

You heard me right.. every inch matters!  5, 6, or 7 inches won't work.  But luckily enough, when you have 8 inches -- it's life changing!

I just completed my third hair donation.  And I feel like this is the perfect way for me to educate people about these organizations and the hair donations.

Here's some throwbacks to my first two donations!

I donated the first time to Locks of Love the summer between 8th grade and freshmen year.

 For some reason I don't have any before photos-- but it was a 10 inch donation.

The first time I thought it was a no brainer to go to locks of love.  But then I heard some chatter and I had to go do some research before my second donation.  What I've found out is that the Locks of Love minimum donation is 10 inches and they do use dyed hair. But I wasn't impressed with everything I found regarding Locks of Love.  So before my next donation I did some research.

Here's some before and after photos of my second donation.

My second donation went to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.  Their minimum is 8 inches but I went for 10. 

As for Pantene Beautiful Lengths, it is connected to the American Cancer Society. Wigs are free, and recipients can make an appointment to choose a wig and keep it the same day, sometimes without leaving their hospital room or treatment room.  Their minimum is 8 inches and they do not accept died or bleached hair.  
Another great option is Wigs for Kids! The minimum donation for Wigs for Kids is 12 inches, they do accept gray hair, but don't accept bleached, dyed, or highlighted hair.  If a temporary dye is completely washed out that will be accepted.  (Side note- Wigs 4 Kids (4, not for) is a smaller organization providing hair pieces only for kids in Michigan.) 

Below are before and after pictures from my third donation- just cut this week!  I donated over 14 inches to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.  Someone needs it more than I do! 

I encourage you to think about donating!  Whether hair or money.  Pantene has an 8 inch or $8 challenge.  $8 is doable for sure!  And if the parameters of an organization work for your hair, guy or girl, think about it and let it grow!  You'll be happy you did!

leave the eh behind
hugs,
abi