The Big 3 I've Learned in our First 3

Our third anniversary is just around the corner and man we've learned a lot about ourselves, each other, and US.

1. TEAM

Cliche, I know.  But we learned very quickly that we are a team.  Not just on the sand court, but every moment of every single day.  And yes, sometimes it's easier said than done.  A relationship works with two active, supportive people.  One doing all the work, making all the decisions, or carrying the load will not last.  And if it does I believe it comes with resentment and exhaustion.  

So what does being a team mean?  It's easy to say we are.  Being a team means working side by side in more ways than one.
 Husbands and wives are to plan together- have a similar big picture.  A happy and lasting marriage relies on a solid foundation of friendship and team.  Of course, there are situations you might accept you're not the best team.  (whether that be because you're both competitive and can't handle loosing a game)  Dave and I stink at doing yard work together!  We'll both go outside but we won't work on the same exact project.  The time or two we tried it.. the "left foot wasn't talking to the right" and the excitement of outdoor work and heat plus getting frustrated killed our moods real quick and it was not a fun situation.  We're great at working towards a goal together but not necessarily on the same task. 

And don't forget to fight as a team!  If you get in an argument, step back and remember what you're arguing about.  Should it be a me vs. you or should it an us vs. the problem.  Be allies!  

2. Communicate.  Don't ASSUME!

We all know what happens when you assume.. and that's ten times more true when you're married.  Yes, Dave and I can finish each others' sentences and we say we have ESP- sometimes we're that good!  BUT that does not mean he can just read my mind!

We had a perfect example a couple months ago.  We were at an event for Dave.  My friend and I went to the event.  Dave then went on that evening and I felt blown off.  Was I over reacting?  eh.. maybe!  But the thing was, I was frustrated and hurt because in my mind I saw all of us getting dinner and such after.  But did I tell him that idea? NO!  When he got home and I told him this- he felt horrible that I was hurt and felt left out but he was right- he cannot read my mind.  

And it's not fair for us to think our spouse can whether you're wrapping up your first year of marriage or your 60th year.  So communicate- early, often, and listen!  

3. Have FUN! 

Once you've been a married a bit- it is so EASY to get in a routine.  Don't get me wrong routines are great!  But we need to remember all the t-shirt sayings...  

-You only live once

-You only get this day, today

-We don't remember days, we remember moments
-Tomorrow is never guaranteed

So what?  Well if you have a moment where you're feeling "stuck", lame, or just a bit down- have some fun!  Break your routine if even for just 30 minutes.

If you're the calendaring type- then put a date night or two on there!  If you're not- when you feel this way- go, do it, have some fun! Fun doesn't have to take the whole day or break the bank- just mix it up, or crank the music and cook dinner, go get frozen yogurt, hit up your neighborhood pool, the options are endless to break up routine! 

Now that three years are in the book, it'll be interesting to see how our life turns and twists and asks for more of us!  Just remember fight together, don't ASSume, and have fun! 

leave the eh behind

hugs,

abi 

Every Inch Matters

You heard me right.. every inch matters!  5, 6, or 7 inches won't work.  But luckily enough, when you have 8 inches -- it's life changing!

I just completed my third hair donation.  And I feel like this is the perfect way for me to educate people about these organizations and the hair donations.

Here's some throwbacks to my first two donations!

I donated the first time to Locks of Love the summer between 8th grade and freshmen year.

 For some reason I don't have any before photos-- but it was a 10 inch donation.

The first time I thought it was a no brainer to go to locks of love.  But then I heard some chatter and I had to go do some research before my second donation.  What I've found out is that the Locks of Love minimum donation is 10 inches and they do use dyed hair. But I wasn't impressed with everything I found regarding Locks of Love.  So before my next donation I did some research.

Here's some before and after photos of my second donation.

My second donation went to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.  Their minimum is 8 inches but I went for 10. 

As for Pantene Beautiful Lengths, it is connected to the American Cancer Society. Wigs are free, and recipients can make an appointment to choose a wig and keep it the same day, sometimes without leaving their hospital room or treatment room.  Their minimum is 8 inches and they do not accept died or bleached hair.  
Another great option is Wigs for Kids! The minimum donation for Wigs for Kids is 12 inches, they do accept gray hair, but don't accept bleached, dyed, or highlighted hair.  If a temporary dye is completely washed out that will be accepted.  (Side note- Wigs 4 Kids (4, not for) is a smaller organization providing hair pieces only for kids in Michigan.) 

Below are before and after pictures from my third donation- just cut this week!  I donated over 14 inches to Pantene Beautiful Lengths.  Someone needs it more than I do! 

I encourage you to think about donating!  Whether hair or money.  Pantene has an 8 inch or $8 challenge.  $8 is doable for sure!  And if the parameters of an organization work for your hair, guy or girl, think about it and let it grow!  You'll be happy you did!

leave the eh behind
hugs,
abi 

Spaghetti Squash Carbonara

Carbonara is one of my favorite dishes but I smile even more knowing that it's low carb and gluten free! 

Ingredients

• 1 large spaghetti squash
• 2 tbsp olive oil
• 5 oz pancetta, diced
• 5 oz onion, diced
• 2 cloves garlic. minced
• 2 large eggs
• 1 tbsp fresh parsley, chopped
• ½ cup Parmesan cheese, grated
• 1 tsp sea salt
• ¼ tsp black pepper
• ½ cup Parmesan cheese, shredded

Instructions

Preheat oven to 400° Line a rimmed baking sheet with aluminum foil.

Cut spaghetti squash in half lengthwise. Scrape out the seeds. Drizzle squash halves with olive oil and sprinkle with a little sea salt and black pepper. Place cut side down on baking sheet. Bake for 30 minutes or until fork tender.

 While the spaghetti squash is roasting, heat a large skillet over medium heat.  Add pancetta to the pan and cook until crispy. To the pan, add the onion and the garlic. Cook until translucent and soft.  Once the spaghetti squash is roasted, use a fork to scrape out the shreds of squash. Add to skillet and toss with pancetta, onion and garlic. Make sure that spaghetti squash is nice and hot.

In a large mixing bowl, whisk together eggs, parsley, grated Parmesan, sea salt and black pepper.  To the mixing bowl, add squash mixture and toss with egg mixture. The heat of the spaghetti squash will cook the eggs just enough to coat them to the strands of squash without scrambling them.

Lastly, top with Parmesan cheese! 

Per Serving - Calories: 256 | Fat: 19g | Protein: 13g | Net Carbs: 10g

Of course- there are some shortcuts you could do.. you could buy a sauce, you could use bacon, etc.  We actually added grilled chicken into the above recipe and it was fantastic! 

EASY low carb spaghetti and meatballs

It doesn't get much easier than this!  

And let me tell you- this is the best way I think spaghetti squash can be made.  It has the consistency of a noodle- not too crunchy and not too soft. 

You can make it fool proof with simply three ingredients. And talk about a meal that doesn't break the bank!

-1 medium spaghetti squash

- 1 Jar of spaghetti sauce

- 1 pound of meatballs 

Of course you can make the sauce or meatballs from scratch- but if you're going for speed, pick up a jar of sauce and a bag of meatballs. 

1. Wash the spaghetti squash.  Cut it in half like above and then scoop out the seeds.  The halves should then look like the second picture. 

2.  I then put my spaghetti sauce in the crockpot (after putting an awesome crock pot liner in first!). 3.  Then I put the spaghetti squash halves in, open side down.  4. Lastly, I added the meatballs.  

5.  I set my crockpot for 3 hours on high.  If you'd like it to run all day.. you can do low 6-7 hours. 

After 3 hours was over.. I pulled out the spaghetti squash, scraped the insides, divided it into bowls and then topped it with the sauce and meatballs.  Lastly, a dash of parmesan and parsley!  

TALK ABOUT EASY! And LOW CARB italian! 

ENJOY! 

hugs, 

abi 

Before the Most Important Walk

Are you, your child, grandchild, or loved one about to walk down the aisle?  If so, these are the things that David and I have come up with that we will make our children do and encourage grandchildren and others to do as well when they thinking they're about ready to say "I do".

1. The couple must travel together.
You don't have to sleep in the same bed or same room.. but traveling together is a must.  And not a stay-cation.. like GO AWAY! It's amazing what you'll learn about each other when you travel- weird things the other does in routine, are they an absolute planner or can they go with the breeze.  Does something drive you absolutely bonkers about them now that you're together all the time one on one?  Can you handle the silence that being together for so long might provide?  How do you handle a bump in the road... whether the museum is closed, the weather is horrible, you missed the train or flight, or someone's under the weather..
And if things get "heated", how do you bounce back? (hoping someone doesn't fly home solo!)
Trust me, Dave and I went to New York after about 9 months of dating and we learned a lot about each other.  First of all- 98 degree heat, walking on my feet all day, and waiting for the wrong train- makes for a crabby Abi.

2. Talk about MONEY
Yes, money.  It's one of the hardest topics but it's said that over 40% of marriages experience extreme stress due to money. Not only that but money fights predict divorce rates.  So what can you do about that?  Talk about money early on... whether you're 6 months into dating or got engaged yesterday.  The "earlier" the better.  Try living on a budget together.  I understand you may live apart.. but try it!  (if so, take out your individual bills -electric, gas, rent, etc.- first and then go from there) It's hard to talk about so you have to "practice" in a sense to get good at it.  (In just a couple weeks I'll be diving into our budget if you want some ideas)

3. Talk with your mom
Sit down, whether planned or it naturally happens and just sit, listen, and talk with your mom or someone in a motherly role.  Sometimes it's hard for us to admit it but moms are pretty good at being right.  I'll never forget the day my mom told me that dave just "fits in so easily with our family".  (She told me a year later, that it was that weekend that she knew he was the one for me)  Just listen to her- no one in the world loves you more and if she has concerns (trust me, I know they're unbearable to hear) but you really should take them to heart.

4. Talk with your significant other about GOALS

What? Goals?  Yes, every marriage needs goals.  Where do you see yourself in 6 months, 10 years, 20 years?  As a couple- financially, employment, family, experiences?  Travel the US? Commit to service?  Or be workaholics, see success and think about family later? None of these are bad or wrong.. but you need to go into a marriage with realistic goals and a supportive significant other.  I understand people grow and change.. but without this conversation you won't have a firm foundation.

5. And lastly, build furniture
Are you serious Abi?  YES!  Go to IKEA, Big Lots, wherever and buy furniture that you have to assemble.  (Dave and I already decided we're going to lock our children and their sign. other in a room with the furniture and they can't come out until it's done)  The directions are most of time a bunch of crap, the tools they give you are inadequate so it causes you to use your best judgement, be resourceful, and stay cool, calm, and collected (which is sometimes very hard to do in those situations)  If you get it built and there's not too many tears- I'd call it a success!

Is your marriage or engagement fool proof?  Nah, but I will tell you.. doing these 5 things when "I do" is starting to sound good will help you decide if they are right and if the time is right!  

leave the "eh" behind

hugs,

abi 

I Got On Stage Last Night

Yes, almost three years married and I got on stage at the bar.  Just because you have a ring on your finger doesn't mean you have to be a bump on a log!

I absolutely love live music and my "introvert coat" tends to come off when I'm with my best friends and music is playing.  So yeah, I was on stage with my friends, the piano player, and then a bachelorette party I was definitely not a part of.  And David knew it.  He was at a table just chatting and hanging with a friend, doing his thing.

I would've done it whether he was there or not!  Remember now, dueling piano bar, nothing too risky.  But still, some wouldn't even think about it out of fear of what their significant other would say or do.  That's no way to live!  (And honestly, it was one of the best nights I've had in a long time)

So what does it mean?  Dave just doesn't care?  Or that I don't care about him...   No, it means we both have an unwavering amount of trust and that we know what we got into!

David met me when I was 20 and let's just say that 20 year old girl will always be in me (even if just a little bit).  And I hope he'd be sad if that wasn't the case.  I'm still the care-free, adventurous college girl he fell in love with and she's not going anywhere!  (sorry, not sorry)  So just remember your significant other, is still that same person you fell in love with so many years ago. And even if they're not 22 anymore, they still need to be able to let go and be carefree for a bit here and there.  We put too much on our plates most times as adults and "adult too hard".  We all need to let go a bit and that could look differently for every single person.  But we need it, to stay mentally and emotionally happy and healthy.  So if something is just calling your name and maybe it's not very "adult-y", by all means- if it's something you want to do- just do it!

I think sometimes couples get too serious and it turns into routine and monotonous rather than still being "young" and enjoying life together, letting the other thrive and like Tim McGraw says to "live like you're dying".  Don't forget doing something silly like getting on stage might just cause your guy or girl to have the biggest smile because they love the crap out of you or they'll take a video to show your kids and laugh with you later about it.  Know your level of trust with each other and be willing to let each other breathe and grow- it's crucial to a healthy relationship.

leave the "eh" behind

and go dance your butt off!

hugs,

abi